My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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