so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
