that's an acceptable place to lick
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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