so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
birth control should be required to get into college
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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