dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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