She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
