You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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