The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
