hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
