Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
