hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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