Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
