Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
