it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
