I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
