We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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