so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
