Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
