Why are handjobs necessary in class?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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