I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize