How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
