Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
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