I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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