I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
