I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
