at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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