dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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