o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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