i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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