there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
