Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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