Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
