JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
