So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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