My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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