hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
