I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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