i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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