No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
