physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
