Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude i'm inner monologue high
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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