ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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