She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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