Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
