a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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