The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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