Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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