it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He felt like a one man threesome
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
