don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
