its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize