I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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