No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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