why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
