ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
