its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
