i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
