how can u be prego again
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
