bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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