Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
...so i touched it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
