I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i barfeds in our rink
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
