what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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