): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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