in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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